If you witnessed your father being abusive to your mother, no matter how determined that makes you to avoid being treated the same - you will find yourself attracting similar types of men.
You will continue to repeat the same patterns because your unconscious has absorbed everything from the relationships close to you. Despite all your conscious efforts to look for the opposite to your father, you will be drawn to experience abuse because you don't believe you deserve better.
Witnessing any abuse your mother suffered enters your subconscious as a negative belief that women aren't valued, so you don't have the confidence to expect only the best treatment from all men.
I've heard really sad stories from women who've endured terrible forms of abuse. No one should ever feel so bad about themselves that they stay to allow this to happen twice. As soon as you do - you've given the abuser permission to continue ...
A woman who had finally escaped from a shocking, degrading marriage with her children, and is now trying to piece her life back together through seriously debilitating bouts of depression, recently had a session of Z Point. She was struggling to make ends meet in a run-down, rented house, after leaving her beautiful home rather than take any more humiliation. She was tired of how her ex husband didn't pay anything toward his daughters, and he still controlled her by by not turning up to collect the children at the agreed times.
I led her through the Process, and she loved the feeling of deep relaxation as she peacefully let go of the hurt. The next time I saw her, she had listened to the same old excuses, with him acting as though only his time was important. Instead of reacting, and getting upset as she usually did, she remained calm, and didn't respond at all. By the end of the conversation he had agreed to buy her a new fridge-freezer, and a new stair carpet.
She couldn't believe that Z Point could work that quickly - but she had the evidence to prove that when you change yourself - others around you change too. You have to work on yourself, to restore your own sense of worth, and then - without any arguments or confrontations - you make it clear that you only accept reasonable behaviour.
Once you have built up your confidence, and know your own true value, then you will attract the right person who will love you as you deserve. It is possible to change - and it is possible to be loved unconditionally, no matter what you have been through in the past.
(and Other Secrets That the Smartest Women Know)
Bestselling authors Steven Carter and Julia Sokol provide the essential insights all women need to know in order to forge healthy, committed relationships.
Based on the simple, but powerful notion, that a lasting relationship means putting yourself first, this book teaches you how to love yourself.
Once you've built your confidence back up, you will know that you only deserve loving relationships, where you are treated with respect.
"If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on." - Steve Jobs
"Relationships are so much a rerun of our parental relationships. We're rerunning the relationship they were in together and we're rerunning the relationship we had with them with our lover." - Kenny Loggins