I'm not talking about the romantic image of love portrayed in Hollywood movies, or the stuff of fairy tales, where the prince carries off his future princess on a white charger.
Real love is being considerate of the other person's feelings, supporting them in a safe environment, and only wanting the best for them, so they can trust you completely.
Anything less isn't true love.
I remember watching an episode of Oprah, with Dr. Phil stating the simple fact, "Love never hurts". He also said: "We teach people how to treat us."
We can only teach others how to treat us well when we know we deserve to be treated well. If you haven't experienced loving relationships as you grew up, you won't know how to love yourself unconditionally.
Learning how to love yourself is the most important thing you can do for yourself. You will know how to value yourself, so you never settle for less than your worth, and you will never tolerate poor behavior.
Yesterday I had yet another workman in my house, and he spent more time talking than working! He began telling me about his partner's son who was violent towards her, but she wouldn't let him interfere, even though he'd almost killed her on several occasions.
Then he told me about a number of incidents where his partner had behaved appallingly towards him, revealing that she drank too much, loses control, and has physically abused him - once to the extent where he ended up in hospital, deaf in one ear, after she'd hit him.
I said you could see where the son had learned how to be violent. Children are all born the same - innocent, and it is adults who teach them anything different from pure love.
The workman said but a son should never hit his mother - of course he shouldn't, but he should never have been exposed to bad behavior, which became his "normal".
He didn't understand why his partner had anything to do with her son, and after numerous stories I asked why he stayed with his partner, after all she'd done to him. "Because I love her."
How many times I've heard that over the years - when bad behavior, either physical or emotional, is never, ever anything associated with love.
When you accept less than true love it's because you don't believe you deserve anything better. You do! True love isn't reserved only for a certain few - it's what everyone should aspire to.
You should only expect to be treated well, and made to feel special so you bloom and thrive, to become the best you can possibly be.
If you settle for allowing less than this, please learn what true love feels like - and love yourself every day. Only when you can love yourself do you know what is acceptable, and know that relationships around you have to change, or be left.
Life is always too short to hear abusive words, or feel the force of someone else's anger. You can't fix anyone by staying to receive more of the same. Everyone has to fix themselves when they're ready. Maybe that time will come when you leave - but that isn't for you to decide.
Your priority is always to love yourself enough to only want to experience pure love. Then, if you have children, you will want the same for them too. Know that changing yourself always benefits others too, but only ever change for yourself first of all.
If you want to know what blissful, pure love feels like - get in touch for a relaxing ZPoint session where I guide you to gently release the reasons why you lack the certainty of believing in love. Once you know how good unconditional love feels - you won't accept less!
"Love others as you would love yourself, judge others as you would judge yourself, cherish others as you would cherish yourself. When you wish for others as you wish for yourself and when you protect others as you would protect yourself, that's when you can say it's true love." - Confucius
“True love is eternal, infinite and always like itself. It's always equal and pure. Without violent demonstrations: It is seen with white hairs and is always young at heart.” ~ Honoré de Balzac