Women especially are brought up to put others first, and feelings of guilt can get in the way of expressing all that you are, so there is confusion about confidence.
We need to strike a balance with young girls today who are obsessed with sharing every move they make, with no concept of privacy. The constant taking of selfies turns every young girl into the star of her own reality show and, as adults, we know they don't turn out well.
They set themselves up to be judged by others, and then become hurt when they're criticized - so it's an endless round of energy wasted on how someone looks, without ever getting under the surface of their skin.
Everyone - male or female, young or old - needs to build up their self-esteem so they can depend on their own sense of what feels right for them, instead of the insecurity that leads them to follow others like sheep.
Of course we need to get along with others, and when you love yourself unconditionally you will only attract others who have the same values, so you will be supported to keep feeling good about yourself.
When you're in tune with how a behavior makes you feel you will back away from anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Constantly observing every angle in the camera lens, and pulling unnatural expressions, isn't comfortable. Turn the camera around, and look at the beautiful world you're missing!
You don't suddenly wake up one morning and feel 100% confident - it takes time to build up, but it's the best skill you can learn. Every time a critical thought comes into your mind - catch it, and change it immediately. Turn negative thoughts into things such as: "I'm doing okay," "I like the way my hair looks," "I look good in blue".
Simple statements that feel real will give you enough of a boost to snap out of feeling negative. Don't tell yourself unrealistic things that don't feel true - saying you look absolutely fabulous when you don't feel it will only drag your mood down lower. Being honest and truthful creates a relationship with yourself that you can trust, and being sensitive to how you feel means you will look for ways to keep feeling better.
When you're confident, you don't need to beg for the approval of anyone else. Instead of the emptiness inside that will never receive enough compliments for the selfie generation, being happy with who you are as a rounded person you're already full - because you take the time to fill yourself up with love.
Feeling confident from the inside is the best way to look good on the outside. Your smile expresses the real you, who is worth knowing, far more than the color of your lipstick!
“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on.” ~ Maxwell Maltz
“A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time. We feel comfortable doing things which add quality and beauty to life.” ~ Andrew Matthews
“Our self-respect tracks our choices. Every time we act in harmony with our authentic self and our heart, we earn our respect. It is that simple. Every choice matters.” ~ Dan Coppersmith