Attempting to always be in control will only bring you increasing levels of frustration.
If you've ever had a cat, you will know that you can't control what they do, or when they do it - they do everything in their own good time.
Cats are a good lesson in relaxing and letting go, because you discover that is when your cat will come to you. That's why they make great pets to relieve stress - they react to your moods.
After both of my parents died early, I wasted years trying to control a life that had gone completely out of control.
I had no clue how to cope, and so I didn't attract anyone who could help me cope.
You never know what life is going to throw at you, and when you take that on board, you let go of stress. Firstly, you stop worrying about what might happen, and secondly you're better able to manage when circumstances change - which they always do.
Trying to make order out of the unknown is doomed to fail.
The only thing you can manage is your reaction to each event that comes along. When your mind is trained to relax, after the initial shock - you have the best coping mechanism. You will be able to find a way through the chaos of upset, which gives you the focus you need to pull you through.
When you focus on one direction at a time, you conserve your energy. You will be able to complete small steps towards your goal, rather than remaining in a muddled mess. This is the best way to make yourself feel better. It doesn't matter how small those steps are - as long as they're taking you to where you want to be - you will be further away from feeling the effects of your circumstances.
Make your life simple - accept that it's impossible to control everything.
Learning to let go is a gradual process, but it will make you feel 100% better than all the effort it takes trying, and failing, to always be in control. Instead of holding on tightly - stretch your fingers out, and gently stroke your cat . . .
"While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us." ~ Benjamin Franklin
"You cannot control circumstances. You never intended to control circumstances. You intended to discover unconditional love. You intended to discover a way to feel good, no matter what, because you have the facility: you have the power: you have the ability to focus." ~ Abraham-Hicks
Please share Wayne Dyer's message of peace and love, and he will always be remembered.